Katie Lynn: Year 7

Katie Lynn.

I know the calendar says this is your 7^th anniversary in heaven, but I’m not sure how. Time just doesn’t slow down.

 It’s in the little early morning minutes that I’m writing this year, while the house is asleep.

I’ve put off this letter for a while, to be honest. I haven’t known how to sum up this past year, or how much to share. It was a lot—in good ways and in hard ways.

About two weeks after your anniversary last year, we learned we were expecting, due in February 2026. The kids were thrilled. Frieda Kelly Birkenhauer was born three and a half months ago and has been such a sweet addition to our family.

Bailey is taller than me now. She’s technically a teenager as of January, and I’ll admit to being nervous as we reached this point. But she’s truly a joy. She is one of the most creative people I know, and she is never idle. This year she began customizing clothing with embroidery, she has crocheted blankets and doll clothes and tiny animals without patterns, along with cross stitch, flower pressing, and a host of other pursuits. She’s the best big sister to the littles, and she goes out of her way to make sure I know she’s here to help if I need her. The challenges this year held brought us closer together, and I’m grateful for that. Her heart is grounded in Christ, and she sees beauty everywhere. I love watching her grow, and helping her discover who God made her to be is such a joy.

Jensen is my kindred spirit when it comes to his love of words. He is constantly looking them up in the dictionary, and it always makes me smile. He is tall and strong and beginning to develop the grit that he will need as a young man. He wanted to earn extra money this year, so we hired him to cut our grass—he push-mows and weed whips, and I love watching him grow in excellence and get stronger. He’s learning to let out some of the emotion he tends to keep locked up, and this is another area he and I bond, because I did the same thing for a long time. Our conversations have made me so grateful for the healing God did in my life before I met Craig and the kids—he truly wastes nothing. Jensen is the best big brother the little girls could ask for. He’s a joy to spend time with, and I’m so proud of the ways he’s grown this past year.  

Hudson is a different boy than he was a year ago, and this is where I’ve wrestled with how much to share. Not long after your anniversary last year, he reached a pivotal point. He’s struggled in various ways since I’ve known him, but while his behavior was often challenging, it became increasingly angry, unstable, and began to border on being unsafe. It was heartbreaking to watch.

We’ve always focused on being consistent, working intentionally on different areas of growth, and we hoped that some of the challenges he experienced would work themselves out with time. He had a rough start, as you know. But with two littles in the house and a baby coming, we knew we’d reached a point where we needed some more dedicated help.

We made nutrition changes. I researched (and enlisted help in researching) supplementation that supported the nervous system and brain function. We prayed, and enlisted others to pray. In what felt like a Hail Mary at the time, we ended up tracking down a QNRT practitioner—it’s an alternative neurological therapy that helps retrain the brain. There was only one in Michigan who would work with a child of his age, so he and I lived in Ann Arbor two days a week for appointments.

It was the most challenging season our family has walked through, and easily the most stressful season of my life.

But it was also helping.

We were watching his nervous system slowly begin to stabilize, and week by week things felt incrementally better. His anger, which felt like it had permeated every aspect of our home, began to dissipate incrementally. So we kept going until the drive and overnight stay became too much for me in later pregnancy, at which point Craig took over.

Life right now looks vastly different than it did a year ago, and I’m so grateful. Hudson is learning again. He communicates instead of raging, and I no longer walk on eggshells with him each morning wondering what’s going to set him off. He feels present with us most of the time, instead of always disconnected. My mom has helped facilitate his school this past year, and that has been a gift beyond measure. There are still days where his brain struggles, but we have tools to support him.

I almost didn’t include this part of our year in my letter to you, to be totally honest. It felt heavy, and I’ve always tried to focus on the beauty in our family when I write to you. I often wondered if our places were reversed, would I want to know? I think I would. So, even though it’s messy and hard, I wanted to share what I could, and I wanted you to know that we’re doing the very best we can to love Hudson well and help him grow.

Hannah is four now, and she is a sponge. She knows letters and numbers, how to write nearly all of them, and is constantly asking me how to spell words. Last week she wanted to know how to do math, and so we started simple addition. I’d be shocked if she’s not starting to read by the end of the year. It’s hard to adequately explain how much joy it brings to teach her and watch her love to learn. Helping Hudson learn has always been a fight, and it’s one that I won’t set down because I love him. But because of that, I’ll also never take for granted the gift it is to help a child who wants to learn. Hannah is obsessed with Jensen, and she was recently shocked when she discovered that she can’t marry him when she gets older.

Martha is sweet and spicy, and we love her. She keeps us on our toes, and she has a stubborn streak a mile long. Her current favorite questions is “why?” I think she is still recovering a bit from all the time I spent in Ann Arbor last year, and she struggles when I am gone. She loves our new baby, Frieda, so much. Her favorite game to play with Hannah now is, “let’s be a mama to our baby,” where they dress and feed and rock one of their dolls while I hold Frieda.

Craig held the fort down like a master after Frieda was born, and it was our most favorite stretch of time he’s had off of work. He inspires me with how he cares for his body and health in this season, and it’s been a joy to watch him build deeper relationships with the kids over this past year. I’m grateful for the ways God continues to work in his life and in our marriage.

Somewhere in all of last year’s intensity, we grew a huge garden. The kids loved it, and it was a sanctuary for me in the hard months. By the end of summer, we were harvesting around 50 pounds of veggies per week, and we froze green beans, whole tomatoes, tomato and veggie sauce, garden salsa, shredded zucchini and more. We’ve been enjoying them all year and are starting this year’s garden now.

We also started our second year of homeschooling, and we wrapped that up last week. This fall will bring the beginning of our third. Bailey just finished 7^th grade, Jensen finished 6^th, Hudson finished 3^rd, and Hannah is finishing nothing because she’s currently a small sponge, soaking up every ounce of learning she can. While our school year began in a really challenging season, it was a solid year of learning for everyone, and I’m so proud of the kids for all the ways they grew.

This past year was a wild ride, and in some ways it feels like I am still trying to recover from the intense stress. My prayer is that this summer is marked by peace, and full of flourishing as a family. Mostly I just want to read aloud to the kids and garden, and if that’s all we do, I’ll be thrilled.

The kids asked to go through your recipe box and cook some of your recipes this year on your anniversary, so that’s where I’m headed now. We’ve been making your baked oatmeal once or twice a week for the last month, and it’s a favorite.

God is taking good care of us, but you are missed.